Communicate in a way that is not threatening.
It helps you to be honest with others without criticising, insulting or putting down them.
Following the next pattern helps:
When [observation], I feel [emotion] because I'm needing some [universal needs]. Would you be able to [request]?
Observation vs Evalutation
Start your disagreement with something concrete. Not an opinion. Something you saw or read. Something objective.
Example: you said you were going to send x before y and you didn't. That's an observation. An evaluation — which you could say when you're emotional at a given point — is you're lazy.
As an observation can't be refuted, you won't lose time discussing about that.
Emotions vs Thoughts
E.g. I feel frustrated vs I think you are not taking this seriously.
If you can replace "feel" with "think", it is a thought, not a feeling.
E.g. I feel misunderstood -> I feel frustrated
Everyone agrees that everyone should have
E.g. I need transparency — instead of I need that you add me in copy of all emails
Requests vs demands
Make the request very specific and say what you want — instead of what you don't want. E.g. I request that when a team member shares an idea you ask some questions before dismissing them — instead of "I request that you don't dismiss ideas from other team members" #Feedback